life is better now. I’m much calmer after getting it all out of my system last week.
last week was kind of a nightmare. not really. actually, it worked like one of those waking-dreamy-nightmare-horror-movies-that-you-can’t-seem-to-wake-up-from… yay for hyphenated phrases!
since I fucked up and lost some friends over it, I made the offending posts private. cause I hurt people’s feelings. and I’m really sorry about that.
now, however, is a: new week. new day. new president: things are looking up.
so… I need some healthier coping mechanisms….
suggestions? please, suggest. (current ones are smoking and drinking too much… yeah. I know.) but I *did* clean the kitchen (angrily and with much physicality) for two hours on monday night instead of throwing things. so I suppose that’s a good start. It was a nice feeling, having a clean kitchen. and there’s lots of cleaning up to be done. so, maybe that will help.
ummm… work has been an explosion. MLK day was a complete joy. so many people. I think my highlight was marching and singing freedom march songs with Jon (my hero) and two complete strangers who were just awsome gospel singers. the odd part about the celebration march was that it went from the Convention Center to the Mall. the symbolism of that was… uhh… problematic. to say the least. it reminded me of the dreadful signs which went up in new york city in the fall of 2001 which read, “fight terrorism. shop.” which was hugely offensive, again, to say the least.
I missed the inauguration because I was getting a pap smear. well woman exam. yes, I know, I’m a horrible american and I need to catch up on the local zeitgeist by watching it on youtube. but I really needed a damn well-woman exam. and I have health insurance.
as janis joplin crooned, “get it while you can…”
I am grateful for friends and a brilliant therapist. we strategized about how to deal with my brother who is not speaking to me. she suggested I write a letter to him telling him how I feel and letting him know that “I’m holding a place in my heart for healing between us.” she also suggested quoting rumi: “beyond who is right and who is wrong, there is a field. I will meet you there.”
if you don’t know who Rumi is, you should. awesome 12th century(?) sufi mystic. 🙂
have a super day!