I am so frustrated right now I just wanna slap someone.
really. I want to cause physical harm to another human being. maybe I just wanna slap the internet. I am just super frustrated.
this case, it’s me – I guess I fucked up. I just got off the phone with my soon-to-be boss. I got told, nicely, that I needed to be patient, and that my actions yesterday had caused some awkwardness. it’s a complicated process, we’re still working on your orientation, etc etc. we’ll let you know.
(e.g. as of yesterday, I have a start date of last week. yet. the orientation process is not complete and they’ll let me know when they actually want me to come in. hey – if they wanna pay me for sitting at home, not working, having anxiety fits – then who am I to stop them?)
WHAT THE FUCKITY-FUCK?
saturday I saw the executive director of my soon-to-be place of employment and he asked me flat out "what’s the problem? Why haven’t you started yet?" I said I didn’t know, I got an email last week, people are working on it. he told me to call TD who I’ve been calling and calling and she doesn’t call me back.
so yesterday after another voicemail, I asked for her TD’s boss. who is a friend of the executive director of my soon-to-be place of employment and a member of the board. this, apparently, was not the thing to do. then I sent an email to all of the above, saying I was working on it, this is what is going on, etc. and about two hours later, I get an email from the americorp!vista saying that there’s been some movement on my employment. so I fill out what’s available to me. I have to print it out and get it to someone. fuckity fuck.
I have to fill out some paperwork and get it to this lady TD somehow. I’ll post later hopefully with better news.
I, god. if this falls through after all this time I am so fucked. I don’t even want to think about it.
okay – lemme back up. I’m going to be an americorps!vista and this, apparently, is a difficult, complicated process. all the vistas in town are run through one organization, which is also a non-profit. let’s call them "BEAN." the people, lady TD, whatever, at BEAN has been hard to get a hold of, has not returned phone calls or emails, and is, apparently, working really hard at getting this done.
the place where I’m going to be working is a different organization altogether. let’s call it "Sustainability Please." so – the HR lady at SP has returned phone calls, emails, and has been super understanding about how frustrating this is, being on the other end of a clouded process. so the people at SP and BEAN need to communicate with each other more often, which apparently, I caused by calling TD’s boss. which caused some awkwardness. I’m sure TD’s boss told Exec-Dir guy, "You gotta reign that girl in!" or perhaps I have a vivid imagination.
americorp!VISTA can kiss my white hairy all-american female ass. I’m so sick of this shit.
ETA: better news. I just got off the horn with both TD from BEAN and HR lady from SP. TD from BEAN will come over to my house with her boyfriend to witness one of the forms. I offered to come to her, but she said it was no big deal. she’s waiting on one other form that I have to sign, which she will bring over. I told her I’d apparently ruffled some feathers by calling her boss, which I didn’t mean to do, and apologized. she said, "oh, no, you didn’t ruffle any feathers over her. it’s likely some internal politics" (she didn’t say at SP or BEAN, but yeah.) then she said, "pardon my language, but some people just have a stick up their butt." she’s human after all!!!
I told TD from BEAN that if she told me I had to join the circus, I’d happily paint myself purple and man the flying wheel!
HR lady from SP just called and I told her all of this… with the pained absence of cuss words. she said "that’s great!" and gave me a start date of Thursday at 10 am. I asked if I needed to bring a notebook or something, and she said, "no, we’ve got it all!" and then we talked about scoring free office supplies. (she’s human too!) my preferred method is to go to community fairs, and go to booths and tell the people there, "I work in a non-profit! This is how I get all my office supplies!" which is true, and then they laugh and say, "here! take more!" Her preferred method is to steal pens and notepads from hotels. her philosophy? "Hell, it’s the Westin! They can afford it!"
also, I called my mom in a blabbering mess of tears and she listened, and comforted me. then she said, "just pet the dog and say, ‘uuuummmmmm…’" she’s kind of awesome that way. (I didn’t have the heart to tell her it’s "ohm," but there you have it!) mom told me to keep my sense of humor. I told her about the circus.