Friday Rant

quote "a perfectly kept house is the sign of a misspent life" Mary Randolph Carter, with a collage of mess around itEvery Friday I try and clean the house. This is so exciting that I’m not going to write about it. I try to go to AA and church on Saturday and Sunday, respectively. Community is important to me.

Every Friday, my mother takes my son for a sleepover. At first, it was because I was delivering my second baby, who is now 16 months old, but it has become a tradition. They have spaghetti and then together time. They play games or watch golf or basketball or what have you, and then a bath and stories and bedtime.

Every Saturday, after my AA meeting, I pick up my son. He loves sleepovers at Granny’s, and she’s happy to have him.

I’ve had a rough past few days, with fighting wordpress and trying to get my business webpage up to snuff, and with a few behavior problems of my son… Yesterday, he accidentally hit his cousin, giving her a huge goose egg on her forehead. Today, he just wouldn’t listen when I told him, “No.” No, you can’t have chocolate milk; no, we can’t make cookies; no, I’m sorry I can’t push you one the swing – I’m cold and I’m going inside. I felt like The Mom of NO, which is never really a fun feeling.

I had a meltdown earlier today, when I discovered my son had decided to “cook” upstairs without me. I found him stirring a pile of flour and sugar, and spilling it all over. All of this to say, my mom took my kid early today. I had a whole blessed, quiet hour where I swept and mopped without the tv on, with one kid gone and the other kid napping. I am more grateful than usual today for the sleepovers at Granny’s. As I was sweeping and mopping, I repeated the mantra “I am grateful I have  house to clean. I am grateful I live in a house.”

I understand that parenting small children is hard, and some days it is very hard. I understand that gratitude is an antidote to the frothy feelings of anger and discomfort, and that when necessary, I can take out my frustrations at the gym, on on the floor.

Today was just one of those days.