long time, been a while

Hello blog land. I’m a mom with a blog. I should be folding laundry, and I will probably get to that here in a minute, but I wanted to share that while things have been good, I have struggled a bit in the last few months. It’s not as bad as it was over the summer, when my depression and anxiety were raging out of control and I was stress eating all over the place, but it’s been a handful.

We bought the house. It is the same house we’ve lived in these past few years. We just own it now. The stress levels of that transaction were pretty stressful. Have you ever signed a stack of papers that was an inch and a half thick? I didn’t think so. All three of us did: me, the hubs, the mother in law. It was pretty amazing, and pretty stressful and I couldn’t keep track of how I was feeling because the lady kept shoving papers at me to sign. And they wouldn’t let me sign with my fountain pen because it needed to be in blue ink for some godforsaken reason.

What I’ve really struggled with lately is the notion of public versus private. I care about the people in my life and I don’t want to treat them like they were a cast of characters. I want to have a care for their feelings. But I want to share my experience, strength, and hope with the world, and to do that I need to tell about them sometimes.

Anyway. I shouldn’t care over much. They may or may not read the blog. But if you throw up on the internet, someone somewhere is bound to see it. I want to be clear: I don’t want to be a part of flame wars. I want to live a life of integrity and authenticity. So that’s been my dilemma since summer, when I wanted to share and I couldn’t let myself share what it was like.

Things are better now. I’m still worried about money, still struggling with a kid who has Sensory Processing Disorder. Still a wife. Still a pagan. Still awesome and filled with sugary goodness. but things are better now. I’ll be blogging regularly from here on out. It’s a healthy part of me. Cheers. See you on the flip side.